Mom and Dad fought all the time when I was a kid. I can’t help arguing with you. It’s their fault! Dad never made me interested in fixing things. That’s why I don’t know how to fix the shower, honey!

Our parents really screwed us up, didn’t they?

We might have grown up more together if they’d have raised us better. Of course, it’s not really Mom and Dad’s fault so much as it’s their parents. Now, there were some horrible parents! Are you starting to see the point? You probably have every reason to blame your parents for something you don’t like about yourself. How’s that working for you?

Do most people care about your upbringing when you didn’t complete that task at work? Do most people care about your parents not teaching you good manners when you get a foul mouth at a restaurant with them? My point is it’s easy to blame your parents or others for our failures because it takes the blame away from the one person that actually has the ability to change. YOU.  You’re probably still thinking, “True, but still. My parents were lousy. They set me up for failure.”  Believe me.  I felt that way for a long time.  It’s up to you to change your thinking.

Start taking 100% responsibility for everything in your life.

You’ll be amazed. You will start having control over it instead of being at the mercy of everyone and everything else.

For example, I’ve always wanted to blame my Mom for an explosive temper and not guarding my tongue.  I remember her blowing up because of frustration at someone or a situation.  I deal with the same problem of having a hard time not controlling my anger and focusing it in a good way.  You may have a problem like this.  It felt good to not have to blame myself for hurting someone else’s feelings.  I couldn’t help it!  My Mom taught me to behave like this.  Okay, maybe so, but she could easily blame my Grandmother who passed it on to her.  This isn’t helping the ones that get hurt by the outbursts.  It’s time to take 100% responsibility of my actions and change that behavior.  Now, I’ve learned to not blurt out my immediate response to frustration or anger.  I wait a few moments and try to use my words in a positive way.  I’ve learned ways to avoid angry outbursts by reading self help guides.  It’s vital that you find a way for you to take ownership of your issues and determine a way to create successes out of them.

I’ve read that many of our problems stem from habits.  If you can form a bad habit, then it makes sense you can form good habits to replace the bad ones.  How powerful of a change would it be in your life if you just added five new, healthy habits to your life every year?

In ten years, you would have 50 more good habits than you do now!

Don’t limit yourself!  Take your life by the reins and go in the direction you’ve always wanted.  I challenge you to write down five new habits that would improve your life.  After that, take the first one and implement it everyday for a couple of months.  Then take the second one and do the same.  Do that until you have formed 5 success habits by the end of the year.

PAY ATTENTION.  There are 3 things you can control in life.

1. You can control your thoughts
2. You can control what you visualize in your mind’s eye
3. You can control your actions

Think about that and good luck!

SEND ME COMMENTS ON HOW YOU HAVE TAKEN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE OR WHAT HABIT YOU WOULD LIKE TO CREATE.

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I don’t know why, but most people are not very good listeners and I’m including myself in that category. Everyone wants so desperately to be heard and acknowledged, yet we barely try to do the same to our fellow peers. There are tremendous benefits just from listening.
Listening improves our ability to communicate. We can process the information being passed to us and develop a deeper understanding of the other person. I’ve been practicing at home and work lately. Wow! What a difference! Normally, I’m thinking of my next question or if mailed that bill payment. I catch bits and pieces of the actual message and I tend to make assumptions of the person’s meaning. I waste their time making them explain or clarify more. I can’t imagine that’s fun for the other person.
One really cool thing about listening is that it makes you very popular. People love to hang around and talk to people that listen to them. That may or may not be such a good thing with certain people, but you never know when your respectful attention might be rewarded.
Listening makes me more intelligent. I comprehend more and ask better questions. I used to think I needed to formulate questions while another person was talking to me so I could keep the conversation going. You can’t do two things at one time well. Listen up and the appropriate questions will come.
Listening shows respect. I had a common problem of finishing people’s sentences if they stumbled or took, in my opinion, too long in saying something. I felt like I was being helpful, but, in reality, I was rushing their thoughts and not allowing them to fully express themselves in the way they wanted. How many times have I interrupted somebody and derailed a conversation that could have been informative for me and more enjoyable for the talker?
Becoming a great listener will make you loved and respected. I’m not perfect. I still daydream sometimes while someone is talking to me. I feel the urge to finish other people’s sentences, but I’m getting better at listening. That’s a good thing!

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Homeschooling has actually been picking up a lot of steam in the past year or so.  In the book, Microtrends, by Mark Penn, homeschooling is listed as one of the microtrends that he has seen growing in our culture.  Penn is famous for coining the term, “soccer moms” and acknowledging their importance as voters during Bill Clinton’s 1996 reelection campaign.  If you’re interested in reading more about homeschooling, check out these 10 blogs.

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What’s wrong with the media and pop culture today?  They glorify in the sensational and put it up on a pedestal. They have no integrity at all these days and it bleeds into our lives.  I’ve been listening about this David Letterman scandal and he’s been made out to be some sort of victim.  True, this man who attempted to blackmail him is wrong. That’s not an issue. Let’s face it though. David Letterman still did the deed and he got caught. This is just my opinion, but it seems to me that he abused his star power and probably manipulated those women to have sexual affairs with him. I could be off base, but I think that was a likely scenario. On the show, The View, Whoopi Goldberg all but excused his behavior on the simple fact he wasn’t married.  That’s true that he was not married; however, he had been dating his girlfriend for a few years and had had children with her.  I’d say that constitutes a commitment to that person.  Why do people blur the lines as to when it’s acceptable to commit infidelity?  Oh, it’s okay if you’re not married and their not currently in the same zip code as you. I think it’s unacceptable anytime when boyfriends or girlfriends cheat on the one they have decided to be in a relationship with.  It still involves the trust of another person. If someone will cheat on their girlfriend or boyfriend, it stands to reason that there is a high chance that they’ll do it whether they have a ring on their finger or not. Even at the highest office in the country, the Presidency of the United States, Bill Clinton and other Presidents have tarnished their marriages and Presidential responsibilities to the world with their philandering ways.  Shouldn’t an individual that reaches the top job in the country also be one of the best examples of moral integrity?  I guess that may be asking too much. It’s definitely sending the wrong message to our children. I understand people make mistakes. People have always had shortcomings and always will, but people no longer face the same consequences anymore. It becomes a just a source of embarrassment for getting caught and they may receive a slap on the wrist. Let’s get some Public Relations gurus in here and spin this so it will go away. We may even be able to turn this into a book deal with movie rights. Society needs to wake up and think very hard about what they are going to put up with. Personally, I don’t intend on watching David Letterman ever again. It may count as nothing to him, but at least my family will see that I don’t condone that behavior. How do you feel about infidelity and how it’s treated in the media and pop culture today? Am I overreacting? I’m just concerned that people’s beliefs of morality and integrity are becoming very skewed and I’m sure it can largely be attributed to incidents like these. I’ve known several guys that not only happily engaged in multiple relationships with women, but reveled in it. Unfortunately, they left a trail of brokenhearted, wounded females that will have trust issues for a long time. The lack of concern for another person’s trust in you is extremely disturbing and represents that you have a major character flaw. Feel free to comment on your opinions about this article or interject other points that I may have missed.

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This is in no way, shape, or form a bashing of people who smoke. Before I had children, I smoked for twelve years until I was finally able to give it up. This is a simple guide to anyone that might be unsure of proper cigarette etiquette. I’m not trying to talk anybody into quitting. That’s a personal decision you must make for yourself and only you can make that decision. If you are interested in quitting though, I read an interesting study about increasing the chances that you’ll quit. I’m trying to highlight the correct boundaries smokers should consider.
Let me give you an example of when it would be inappropriate to smoke. Last weekend, my family and I went to a local street festival in our town. We had a wonderful time. The kids had their faces painted and their hair made into mo hawks. We looked at some very gifted and talented artists who made jewelry, photos, paintings… Sounds nice, right? Okay, so we’ve finished up and are ready to go home. We walk to the shuttle bus stop in order to be taken to our car. Once we got seated, we started talking about the festival and all the great things we saw. That’s when my wife says that someone is smoking on the bus. My first thought is my wife’s nose is mistaken. Nobody smokes in public areas anymore, excluding maybe a bar or pool hall. Sure enough, the bus driver had lit up and smoked a cigarette. If it had been just me, it wouldn’t have bothered me, but I didn’t like his disregard for my family’s well-being. That brings me to a good point about smoking etiquette. DON’T SMOKE AROUND KIDS! It’s rude.

Here is another situation to think about. Let’s say you’re out to dinner with friends or colleagues. Everyone agreed to sit in the smoking section of a restaurant; however, not everyone is a smoker. It would be considered bad manners to light a cigarette and smoke while anyone is eating. You should smoke prior to the arrival of food or wait until everyone is done eating. If you simply can’t wait, excuse yourself and go to the restaurant bar or outside to smoke.

This next one is one that I was guilty of when I smoked. When you finish a cigarette, don’t throw it on the ground or out the car window. Extinguish it and put it in your pocket or the car somewhere (an ashtray if it has one). I littered the ground with countless butts and now I regret it. It seems accepted that it’s okay to just toss it on the ground. I’m not sure of the legality of it, but I bet you wouldn’t do it with a cop nearby. Please dispose of the cigarettes in the trash.

I’m sure I could discuss several more situations to use as examples. Overall, my point is to use your best judgment and be cognizant of other people. If you feel that it might be the wrong place or time to smoke, don’t do it. I know it’s hard sometimes. Believe me, I know. If you dismiss other peoples’ space, you’re being selfish. Make it easier on the ones who feel they can’t quit and continue to smoke. Smoking doesn’t make you a bad person, but not following the proper etiquette often brands the non offenders that way.

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Recently, my wife has been researching the benefits of homeschooling because she is thinking about doing it for our kids. She’s told me several interesting things which have definitely peeked my interest.

One major benefit I see right off the bat is that it allows you to customize teaching to your child’s learning style. Public and private schools provide outstanding teachers and have some very forward-thinking curriculums; however, it’s still created for a large number of students and is delivered, in most cases, with high student-to-teacher ratios. In other words, it’s a one education fits all approach.

The idea of customization is exciting to me. I have three small children myself. Our oldest boy is eight. Our middle child is a three year old boy. Our youngest child is our 9-month old daughter. They all exhibit very different personalities and I’m sure they will prefer different learning styles as well. Homeschooling gives flexibility and allows one to account for these things. Customization also allows the parents to teach their children topics that often do not get stressed enough. How can high schools not focus more on financial freedom and responsibility? There is more to finances than learning how to balance a checkbook. Many high school kids have graduated and moved on to college where they were victimized by unsavory credit card companies. I’d like my children to be better informed before they’re thrown out into the world. I’m sure you could think of many more things that you feel are not taught or barely addressed in public and private school settings.

Normally, the first argument against homeschooling is the argument of your child or children lacking social opportunities. I find that to be a weak argument against homeschooling your children. Look at how the majority of schools are set up now. Socializing during class is frowned upon as far as I know. If children engage in talking or note passing, that will eventually result in disciplinary actions (i.e., In-School Suspension). During lunch, many elementary schools put out timers and do not allow children to speak to one another for a fixed amount of time. I’d venture to say that the only approved times of socialization is in between classes, physical education, and recess (for grade school students). A home schooled child could easily receive that much socialization. They could join local organized sports teams. They could attend a spiritual youth group. They could go play with the neighbors’ children. Libraries offer many ways to allow socialization with different programs. Plus, parents who home school often have social groups that organize meetings with other home schooled children. Finding one of these groups would be easy to do through the Internet or looking at local bulletin boards or reading the local newspaper. Another added bonus to homeschooling is that the parents are aware of who their children are hanging out with. It’s obvious that the group of kids your children spend time with influence their decisions and behavior. Personally, I’d like more control over that aspect of my child’s life. I’d prefer my children to not feel so pressured to become involved in rude behavior, provocative fashion, drugs, or sex. I want to give my children the best opportunities to succeed in life.

Many children complain about school and how boring it is. I’m sure they find it boring because it doesn’t allow them to interact kinetically with the topics. Children love to learn by doing. Although, some kids may like to read books and learn information that way, it would be nice to take them on several field trips and actually show them the lesson. That would allow the child to internalize it more and develop an interest in the subject. They would more readily ask questions about the information you give them and would go deeper into the material. It would also help for children to identify earlier in life the things that truly interest them and to explore them fully.

If you’re like me, I often come across things that I disapprove of that schools implement or take out. I want my children to be taught my belief system and what I feel is right and wrong. When they get older, they can accept or reject those beliefs, but I don’t want the government determining what my child should or shouldn’t believe. That’s a scary proposition to me.

How much does it cost to home school? The cost of homeschooling seems to be minimal. There are several sites that offer free materials and packets that can be used by homeschooling parents or tutors. Hey, no more of those annoying school fundraisers. That’s a perk right there. As far as taxes are concerned, yes, you still will be helping to pay for the public school system. Many people would say you might as well use it since you’re paying for it. I’d respond back that I also help pay for prisons, but I’d prefer my children didn’t use those.

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Life has changed so rapidly due to the Worldwide Web. Now, there is an organization named OneWebDay founded by Susan Crawford, a cyberlaw scholar, former Board Member of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, and current technology policy advisor to President Obama. She created the organization to address the affect of the Internet on global society and to promote our awareness of that affect. OneWebDay is striving to close the gap of people without access to the Web because they may be excluded from important issues of the world. The way OndWebDay sees it is that we’ve become as dependent upon the Web as we have roads, running water, and electricity. Plus, we take it for granted just like those aforementioned things. OneWebDay’s belief is that it can become a global community involved with the future of the Web. OneWebDay is celebrated annually on September 22nd. This is its fourth year.
I don’t think I’m quite ready to start crusading for everyone on the planet to have the Internet as a right, but I am concerned with keeping the Web decentralized. There is an immense amount of creative, insightful, and free information that is dispersed on it and that could cease to exist if overly regulated. Of course, there is a lot of trash on the Web as well, but you must take the good with the bad. It’s amazing when you contemplate the affect the Internet has had on our planet. Information is only a few keystrokes away. I can discover how to fix my garbage disposal within seconds. Learn about various charities through their websites and contribute to the one or ones I most support. I love being able to watch most of my favorite television shows without owning a TV.
What do you think? Is access to the Web so vital that it can be compared to clean drinking water? What would be your argument for or against that? Could you live without it? I invite you to join into a discussion on any of my blog posts and let’s have some PROCESSED CHEEZ together.

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Oftentimes, I feel overwhelmed by tasks that face me. If you’re like me, you probably go to the least painful task first and ignore the harder projects until they’re breathing down your neck. In The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, he discusses the Rule of 5. The Rule of 5 is defined as doing five things to accomplish a goal of ours everyday. The principle is that if you do five things toward that goal everyday eventually you reach the goal. It may not sound like much, but it can lead to amazing results. Try using the Rule of 5 on a small goal that you’ve been putting off and see for yourself.

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Recently, I acquired an addiction to all things self-help. Of course, this ties into the previous post about a pre-midlife crisis. I’m sort of excited about all of the reading I’ve done of late. It has been a period of self discovery for me. I’ve always been an introvert. Having a constant stream of dialogue running in my head. Most of it has been negative. I heard or read the other day that 80% of one’s thoughts are negative. That’s incredible to know! No wonder there are so many unhappy people out in the world. The constant barrage of negative discussion has to affect our subconscious. What is normally the hot topics in the news? Is it a disaster or something uplifting? How rampant is gossip in your office? That’s why I’ve been using affirmations lately. I’m trying to reverse the damage. There’s something to all of this. Your beliefs are incredibly powerful things. For some reason, people tend to limit themselves and this seems to be the natural order. When I was a young boy, this wasn’t so much of a problem, but over time, this gets put in your head through family, school, church, or wherever. In my case, I didn’t have anyone telling me that I didn’t deserve this or that. I didn’t have anyone tell me I couldn’t be what I wanted to be. I didn’t have anyone telling me that I was stupid. So why is it we tell our kids they can be anything they want to be only to turn around and tell them to stop being foolish and get a practical job. I know you said you always wanted to be a novelist, but how many people can support a family writing? You want to do what? You want to go do mission work in Africa? Are you crazy? Be a doctor. People always need healthcare.
Most of my insecurities were passed on to me through observations of my mother, who limited herself and tended toward the negative aspects of life. I don’t blame or resent her. She couldn’t help it. She developed this through her mother and her upbringing. I’m sure my grandmother got it from her mother or father. The vicious cycle has attempted to move on throughout the generations. I have children and I want to break this cycle if I have the strength. No doubt, it’s a struggle; however, it’s one that I want and need to face for myself and for my family. One of the sad things is that I used to revel in my bitterness, resentment, and negativity. I wore it as a shield of armor. It helped me to feel superior to others that had wronged me in some way. Now, I just want to let it go and choose to be happy. It’s true what people say. It is a choice. When I get jaded about life, I remind myself that life isn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be. Things pass. Life always gets good again. There are so many people that have more of a right to be bitter than me and they choose not to be. They have huge smiles on their faces and laugh easily even when they have no reason to feel that way. I see children in third world countries that don’t have a proper diet, clean drinking water, or comfortable shelter. I see them smiling still.
One thing I’m proud of about myself is that I recognize my thoughts and beliefs and search for ways to improve them. Growing is a vital aspect of life and it’s one of the reasons we’re here in the first place. That’s my thinking anyway. Do you believe most of our thoughts are negative? What do you do to push out the negative and open yourself to the positive? I appreciate any input or comments.

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